I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am naked and annoyed.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
