Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we're making bets on your personal life
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
