I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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