Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
