I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
