i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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