I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
