I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
