Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
