woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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