He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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