Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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