Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
