How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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