told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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