that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
