Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
