i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I need to stop coming to work sober
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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