we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize