Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
