I smell stomach acid.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
