I'm going to jail i love you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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