M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
