i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
