someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
