fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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