I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
