end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
