What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
