ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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