ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
