we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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