the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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