Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
