the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed š
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
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