I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
