I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
