Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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