I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
