Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
