sarcasm needs its own font
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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