im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
two words: eviction party
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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