We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
