omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
