This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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