apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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