i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
