I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
