My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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