i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
