Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
