You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
