I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
